


Beauty From Pain

by Just__Sparks



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Grief/Mourning, Light Angst, M/M, Non-Canon Major Character Deaths Mentioned, Past Merlin/Arthur (Merlin), Past Percival/Gwaine (Merlin), Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-09-22 17:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17064386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just__Sparks/pseuds/Just__Sparks
Summary: It's two years after Merlin's untimely demise that Arthur meets Percival. His world would never be the same again, and for that, he is grateful.





	Beauty From Pain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eurydice72](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eurydice72/gifts).



> First I'd like to say, thank you bunches to blacktailchorus of Merlin Chatzy, who graciously did a last minute beta. I was ripping my hair out, but luckily she and my lovely spouse came to the rescue. My anxiety filled self is forever grateful! 
> 
> Now, to my giftee... All of the prompts you wrote were awesome! I went off of the part of the prompt featuring Arthur/Percival, with Percy being the new guy. From there, the story basically took a life of its own. I hope you like it!  
> Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays! <3 
> 
> To everyone else who may read this, Happy Holidays! I hope you enjoy this and each day left that you have in the year! <3

It was November, and the weather had been dreary. Clouds swarmed above London, hovering above the city, almost as if the mass was giving thought to when it should let loose upon all of those unlucky enough to have found themselves beneath its cover. The wind reflected the mood of those clouds high above, with gusts buffeting the individuals out and about, including one Arthur Pendragon, who happened to be on his way to his weekly group therapy session.

The man in question, blond hair windswept in the least attractive way, wearing work clothes and carrying an  outfit in a rucksack to change into, as he always did, sped to the center on foot as quickly as his legs would carry him. He had no doubt that he would be late, if his day continued in the same vein. He still might make it, if it weren't for the fact he refused to show up in his posh work clothing. That just would not do. Nor would skipping it completely, as he had briefly considered minutes before. Alas, his schedule was set, and he refused to miss this because of some fashion crisis he was having. 

After pounding the pavement at top speed, his feet reached their destination twenty-seven minutes after they should have. This meant his time to change clothes was scarce. Without a second thought, Arthur Pendragon entered the coffee shop in which their meetings were held, as the owner doubled as a grief counselor. The store shut down though before their group began, so that outsiders would not interfere. They did however receive free drinks throughout. A fact that did not help much in the way of offsetting diabetes, but was not unappreciated in the slightest either.  

Before a single person could flag him down to talk, he sped towards the loo. 

Inside of the two stall toilet, Arthur switched from the business suit he had donned that morning into jeans and a jumper, with a pair of beaten up trainers to match. In his office, he was Arthur Pendragon, CEO of Cam-E-Lot, Inc. Outside of it, he wished to keep his head down as much as he could. He hadn't always been that way, but that past was long gone.

After firmly securing his bag and making use of the facilities, Arthur made his way out to the circle of chairs that were almost completely full. Almost always, he was one of the first people there. Today, it was as if the world had turned on its axis, and everything felt off. As he sat down, Arthur found himself in full view of someone he had never seen before. This person, too, was new.

"We're so glad that you could join us tonight, Arthur. I was beginning to think that you wouldn't make it when I saw the time on my wristwatch," Mr. Gaius said.

His tone was level, bordering on jovial even, but Arthur had known him for nearly all of his life; the man was worried for him.

"Sorry about that. Work kept me late today. I have a mountain of paperwork I ended up pushing until tomorrow."

"I see."

Gaius' eyes were friendly and open, but Arthur could sense the suspicion a mile away. Glancing around the group, it was clear that no one else could, however. All for the better, Arthur reckoned, as he waited for the elderly man to begin the meeting in earnest.

"Okay. It seems that we have a few new people here tonight. Do any of you wish to state your name for the group, a little about yourself, and why you are here?"

Silence seeped in between each and every person as every single one waited expectantly for someone else to speak. When no one did, Arthur looked up to meet Gaius' penetrating stare. His theory was confirmed at the sight of that probing look.

After a significant amount of time had passed, the man Arthur had first sighted earlier when he sat down cleared his throat. Warily, he raised a large, muscled arm. The bloke, Arthur wagered, had to be in the gym more than either The Rock or Vin Diesel to have a body like that. Gaius' eyes, Arthur observed with glee, tore away from his own, and then landed on the stranger.

"Yes, young man. What would you like to say?"

The man, to Arthur's surprise, looked directly at him and said, "My name is Percival, but to those I know, I go by Perc or Percy. I am a bar owner at The Setting Moon. It was a business that my -," he stopped, sucking in air as if he were trying to withhold tears, before he continued, "that my husband and I started. He was murdered this past year."

The glare that Arthur received was unprecedented. So much so that he actually turned around and looked to see if it was meant for someone else. When he returned his gaze back in front of him, he was met with the unrelenting stare of someone that seemed to be challenging him. 

A niggling thought made itself known in Arthur's mind, and soon he found himself raising his hand, hoping what he was about to say would ease the man's judgement he felt radiating from the opposite end of the room.

Gaius predictably swiveled his gaze to Arthur. He nodded, and Arthur forced the words out of his mouth.

"Hello, my name is Arthur. I lost my mother at birth, my father five years ago to a heart attack, and my," this is where he had to pause, because the ache even two years later, was too much for a swiftly choked out sentence. When he began again, it was in more of a whisper, "Merlin. The bloody idiot saved my life, and so here we are."

Those that had been here before were not shocked by this, as he had explained it all once before. The tears though, and the look of shock that Percival displayed on his face in the aftermath of the admission, those were new. 

Arthur cried, but never in front of the group. He may have sought out help in the aftermath of the tragedy that had taken Merlin from him, but he still remained Uther Pendragon's son after all. To cry before others was a weakness that no Pendragon could afford. At least that's what had been drilled into him at a young age. Even though his father was no longer around to remind him of it, he still felt the weight of that lesson even in the aftermath of the elder Pendragon’s passing.

Gaius nodded. 

For Arthur to have spoken up at all on such a day, well, that was a great improvement. 

"Thank you, Arthur. As today is the anniversary of his death, is there anything else you would like to share with the group?"

Arthur knew, despite the brave face their counselor was putting on, he too had been affected by what Merlin had done. After all, he was Gaius' nephew. Before he died, they had been thick as thieves. To have lost such a close family member, Arthur knew from experience, was not easy. Of course, this group was for those that had shown up, not the one running it. Still, he could see the sadness reflected from his own eyes in Gaius', and it did little to help the now unstoppered emotions within him.

Arthur's eyes flicked to the ground, and he wracked his mind for anything he could say; something more than the worst moment of Merlin's life. There, of course, were many stories, as they had known each other from an early age. At the time of his death, Merlin and Arthur had known each other for fifteen years. They had met when they were in their teens; Arthur had been seventeen, and Merlin fifteen. Stories abound flashed before his mind's eye, until he settled on one.

The worn tile floor beneath Arthur held his attention as he spoke.

"Merlin and I were in Secondary school, and we had taken my father's travelling car out for a joy ride. Of course, that was back before Google Maps had made it big. So there we were, out in the countryside, and at some point it dawned on us that we would run out of gas soon. My mobile at that time was this clunky thing, bigger than my hand for sure. It too did not seem to work. So we were lost, and had no way of contacting a soul, because Merlin did not have a mobile of his own. Mine had been the only hope. At least, that's what we thought."

Arthur stopped for a moment to catch his breath, as he hadn't so much as given himself a large gulp of air since he had begun. He feared if he stopped, then he would forget this moment that he had held onto for so long. It was a dear memory for him, and with each year that passed, it felt as if its edges encroached upon it all from the outside, threatening his view of a time long past.

"At some point, while I was cursing our luck and what have you, Merlin had walked off without my noticing. Of course, once I did, I searched everywhere I could think of in the wide expanse of hills and green that seemed to stretch on and on."

Another pause, and a deep breath, then an exhale later, he began again.

"Ahead of us, behind a hill, there was a cottage that just barely had a chimney tall enough to be seen from the road. Luckily, there was smoke escaping from it. So, I hurried over there, and what do I find, but Merlin. He had found an old woman who lived alone, and he had made friends with her in the time I had done what I had. She allowed us use of her phone. Another mate of mine came round, and we were out of there. Not before Merlin had made a promise to visit again."

Arthur paused once more. Then finished off with, "But that was just Merlin. He was a friendly sort who would find friends wherever he went. He was great, that way. Far less standoffish than I ever was. That was our running joke, you see. He could never be a proper British man, even after living in London for ages, because he wasn't cold enough."

Lapsing into silence, Arthur wiped his face over once, taking away the tears that he wasn't sure when he had begun to shed. Once he finished, he  crossed his arms, and trained his eyes to the ground again. Someone else had begun talking in that time, but he wasn't sure who. Not that it mattered really, because in that moment, he didn't give a rat's arse.

Time moved too slowly for his liking, but at some point it was time to break for the night. The rest of the session had been a blur, but he didn't mind. After he had tucked his chair back under one of the normal cafe tables, Arthur found himself going towards the snacks and drinks set up on the counter. He hadn’t eaten since earlier that morning, and therefore was ravenous.

With tunnel vision, Arthur grabbed a plate and filled it, knowing that Gaius would not care if he remained after just to chat. He had almost finished, when without warning, he felt a body collide with his right side. Stepping further away from the sudden touch, he turned and found himself staring up towards the sheepish expression upon Percival.

"Sorry about that."

This close, Arthur had a better view of the man he had sat across from earlier. Merlin had meant the world to him, at one time. However, with deep regret, Arthur realized that this did not make him blind. The man in front of him was nothing short of a wet dream. He wished he didn't think that, but he couldn't help it with the bulging muscles and the crinkled, kind blue eyes that were fretting over him. Then there were Percival’s lips, which Arthur could not help but admire for a split second. That was, until his brain caught up with his prick. 

The thoughts came so quickly that Arthur had not a chance to stop them. A sudden wave of nausea washed over him, which only compounded with the guilt to make him feel downright ill. Setting down his plate, Arthur raced away from the table, not bothering to look back until he had gone out the front door without so much as a farewell to anyone at all.

Once out in the fresh, bitter air again, Arthur began pacing. He hadn't meant to be so rude, but all of it was just too much. On the anniversary, no less, he felt as if he were besmirching Merlin's name by having such lecherous thoughts. Deep down, he knew that he was not in the wrong. Even so, he could not help but feel as if he had erred in some fashion.

The sound of the city became background noise as he walked back and forth until he no longer felt bile rising up in his throat. Had he not left the room, Arthur was quite certain he would have expelled the contents of his stomach directly onto the table. He figured that was a worst first impression than high tailing it ever would have been. 

The creak of the glass door opening caught his attention, and he found Gaius standing before him, his duffel bag within the elder man's grasp. A single eye brow was arched up further, a sure sign that he was being speculated about.

"I believe you forgot something, Arthur."

With measured steps, Arthur moved forward and took the bag off of his mentor's hand.

"Thank you."

It was all he could manage before he turned away from the unrelenting stare.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

Arthur wanted to say no, but he knew he would go mad if he kept it in.

"That man in there, Percival. I found him attractive, and it felt wrong."

Arthur knew he was being ridiculous, but he was not so far into his stages of grief that he could wave it away as something inconsequential.

"Arthur, I understand today is a hard day. It is as much for you as it is for me. But I think it's fair to say that Merlin wouldn't want you to be -"

That boiled Arthur's blood. How the sodding hell would Gaius know what Merlin would have wanted? 

"Merlin isn't here to say what he would have wanted. You can't speak for him."

Without another word, Arthur spun on his heel, choosing to walk off before he could say anything else he might regret.

* * *

A few days later, Arthur had cooled off. His anger and resentment, though still there, was less so than it had been before. He knew Gaius had meant well, even if his words had been poorly timed. After all, the older man had known Merlin fairly well, and was not wrong in what he had been about to say. At the time though, that hadn't mattered to Arthur one iota. Now though, after he had some space and time to think, after having mulled the idea over, he felt perhaps it was time to test the waters.

Although he was aware that grief had no expiration date, he also knew that he had been lonely. Not just in the missing-Merlin way, but the way that only a live person could fill. Merlin, as much as it hurt to think, would never return. He had died saving Arthur's life, and nothing Arthur could do would ever change that. So, perhaps, even if he only managed a one-night stand here or there, he figured it might be time. A cold bed never warmed a heart.

This new thought process led Arthur to look in the mirror at himself, so that he could gauge what state he had left himself in. It wasn't as if he had completely let himself go. That had been the first year. After the year mark, Gwen and Lance had forced himself to do what was necessary to keep himself healthy. They cared about him too much not to give him some tough love. After that, life had begun looking up a bit. Still, his health and abdominal muscles, he determined, could definitely use some work.

The thought of returning to the gym had been on Arthur's mind. He had avoided it though, as it involved speaking to others around him, and then he'd have to explain more than he wished to. Small talk was a burden he shouldered at the office, during holiday parties and such, but he had no desire to do so outside of his work obligations. Catching up with his mates was about as much conversing as he attempted. That, it seemed, would have to change.

Donning the rest of his clothes once more, he reluctantly elected that since it was a Saturday, he would go. Once the decision was made, his cognitive wheels began to move, as did his body. Soon, he found himself out the door and commuting the whole way there. Eventually, he was able to touch his feet to the concrete in front of the building.

Part of him hoped that outside of the receptionist at the desk, no one would speak to him. Fate, as he learned minutes later, had other ideas.

After he navigated an interaction with an unfamiliar woman named Sefa, Arthur used his card key to open the door that would lead him to the various rooms in the gym. He wanted the weight room. But what he found in there, amongst the various different machines, was a well-muscled Percival changing out weights on his bench. 

Of course.

He was half tempted to go on to the pool and take a swim, up until Percival glanced up at him and nodded toward him in a hesitant greeting.

"Hi, Arthur."

A strange feeling coiled in Arthur's stomach, but it was not altogether unpleasant. Taking this chance meeting as a sign, he forced himself forward.

"Errr, hello."

He  grasped one hand at the back of his neck. It was a habit, when he felt awkward. This, to him, was the epitome of awkward.

Judging by the furrowed brow, and the silence that followed, Percival appeared to feel as out of place as Arthur did as well. Tentatively, Arthur tread forward and dropped his bag on the nearest unused bench. Having looked around the whole of the room, he realized suddenly that they were the only two in it. The coil in Arthur's stomach twisted some more.

"Would you like a spotter?"

The question had left Arthur's mouth before he could think better of it. 

Percival, who had seemed to be doing just fine on his own before, nodded in affirmation.

"Why not."

Arthur moved to stand behind the bench. He waited there and ghosted Percy's movements, just in case, as a good spotter would do. It seemed unnecessary, but this kept them from talking, and that was the next best thing. It did little, however, Arthur realized after the man before him had grunted through his repetitions, for containing his libido. A fact he became aware of as he had to turn away after the bar was placed back into the rungs.

Fate really must be chuckling at him, Arthur thought.

If Percival had noticed his predicament, he didn't say. Instead, he motioned for Arthur to go on a bench beside his, with what looked to him like it held a much more manageable weight. Arthur acquiesced in silence by sitting down, his whole body in full view of the man now behind him. 

Well, Arthur thought, as he lifted up, at least they weren't speaking. The last thing he wished to be doing was discussing what had occurred yesterday. Undoubtedly, that was the elephant in the room. One that he hoped they could just tip toe around, and eventually forget about. His hormones, it seemed, had other ideas.

When he dropped the bar back down after his own reps, he found an indiscernible look on Percival's face. That was, until he spoke.

"Would you like to go out for a drink?"

Arthur's cheeks burned red, and he managed to look down at his wristwatch without choking. The time read as 5:25 P.M. He supposed that wouldn't be so bad. At least with a table, his intermittent erections wouldn't be in full view.

"Okay. Where did you have in mind?"

The question earned a sheepish grin.

"I was hoping you might have a few suggestions. I'm a bar owner. I don't go out much out of my own establishment."

Oh, right. 

Arthur wracked his brain for a minute. Pub night venues were out of the question. Those were sacred, and he did not wish to tarnish their previous memories with new ones that might never live up to those from before. With that handful out of the question, that left a few different places he had heard of, but never got around to trying. One in particular was so outlandish, that he hoped, it just might work.

"How would you feel about something a bit out of the norm?"

A perplexed look overcame the Percival’s face.

"Alright, let's hear it."

Percy's arms crossed in front of him as he waited for Arthur to respond.

"How do you feel about a pub filled like a ball pit?"

There was silence, and then the man before him smiled.

"I'll withhold my opinion until after, but I think it's safe to say I'm not opposed to the idea."

The smile Arthur felt spreading across his face in response to the one he could see above him was not unwelcome.

* * *

From that Saturday on, Arthur found he and Percival--now Percy--together increasingly more as the days progressed and seasons changed. They had settled into a comfortable companionship. They understood each other, as they were both widows. But, that was hardly where the similarities ceased.

Arthur and Percy both enjoyed pub quiz nights and billiards. Each of them had a healthy obsession with various Netflix series that they had discovered either together or apart. They worked out together, and hung out more often than not. Their friends had even intermingled over the months they had known each other. Overall, the two had built a solid friendship from the ground up. One that was fun, and did not always require talking.

Likewise, after the initial sexual frustration, which had been settled with a few wanks here and there, the time he spent with Percy was much less stressful. At least, that's how it had been, up until Arthur realized one day that his feelings, though latent, were still there and had grown as time had gone on.

The particular incident in question occurred when they were sitting at a bar, one they had found together after their first pub outing which had ended quite well, all drunken shenanigans considered. Arthur was aware of course that neither he or Percy were unattractive. However, it was when others became knowledgeable of that fact, at least in regards to a particular tall mate of his, that he morphed into a different person. 

Merlin had at one time been amused and annoyed in equal measure with him, when Arthur had reacted in a jealous fashion. That of course had been a different person and time.  The man beside him was nothing more than a mate, as he had never indicated that he wished to be anything more. There were previous incidents that might have leant themselves to contradict that, but as he had not vocalized a single word in regards to that, Arthur knew he had no right to feel as he did while he watched a waitress flirt with Percy. Still, and yet, the jealous green dragon began to rear its ugly head from within.

Arthur cleared his throat, and watched as he was ignored, yet again. 

His drink had remained unfilled for quite some time, and he was sick of it. His rationale told him to leave it, that it was not worth it, but there he was, about to make an arse of himself because that was what he seemed to be good at. 

"Excuse me, miss."

At this, Percy took his gaze away from the eyefull of breasts in front of him. Annoyed, the bartender looked over to Arthur, a look of unbridled annoyance on her face.

"Yes?"

Arthur had not ever worked customer service, but he had been in enough businesses to know that was not how a person should address a patron. Even one as prattish as he.

"I'd like my tab, if you don't mind. It seems by the inattention to my drink, I have no need of an open one any longer."

She didn't bother to respond. Instead, she walked off in what seemed an attempt to rid him of her sight. That was just fine with him. Once she was out of ear shot, Percy looked over at him, which he could see out of his peripheral vision. The weight of a searching glance pressed upon him. Arthur found himself turning towards the man on his right.

"I'll get the tab, Arthur."

The statement took him aback.  Then, he was suspicious.

"Why?"

"Consider it my attempt at labeling this a horrible first date. If that's okay with you."

Was that okay with him. Arthur's brain short circuited after that. His mouth dropped open, and was agape long enough that when the bartender came back, it was still down. Once her scowl was in front of him though, he immediately snapped his mouth shut. She placed the flimsy paper in front of him, and before he could react, Percy reached to the side to grab it. 

"I'd like mine as well."

Her eyes widened, but she did as he bid. Disappearing again, she left the two of them alone at their portion of the bar.

In her absence, Percy turned to Arthur, and tentatively reached out a hand. When their fingers threaded on the bar top, a shiver ran through the blond. This is not at all how he expected the night to turn out. He was not however sad about this different outcome in the slightest.

Footsteps echoed on the floor and reached Arthur's ears. The look on the young woman's face was nothing short of shocked. Rouge painted her cheeks, and no sooner than she had dropped the tabs in front of Percival, did she disappear once again from whence she had come. This earned a grin from both men. 

Outside of the pub, after their bills had been paid, their hands were still intertwined. It had been awhile since maneuvering attached to another person had been a problem for Arthur, but it was a welcome confusion that he had to deal with this. He was on cloud nine as they walked the streets hand in hand. He wasn't sure where any of it would lead, but he was along for the ride for now at least.

The air, which was unseasonably warm for London, still made Arthur's hairs stand up on end as they strolled in silence.

A good walk later, the two found themselves in a park where every single tree and bush was adorned with holiday lights. Rather than walking past it, Percival led the two of them toward it, and then into it. Now, their bodies were awash in bright colors, and Arthur's heart was filled with warmth. 

Without breaking away from the hold he had on Arthur's right hand, Percy turned to him.

"I thought that when I lost Gwaine, I had lost any chance at being happy again. But, then you came into my life and somehow that changed."

Arthur was too stunned to speak. Percy took his silence as a reason to continue.

"Both of us have lost a great deal, but maybe we can still let all of the negatives give us this positive. I believe that we met for a reason, because how this light brightens up the night around us, that's how I feel every time I'm with you."

"I couldn't have said it better myself."

Percival smiled. The rest of his facial features relaxed as he did too.

“May I?”

Arthur nodded.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Percy released Arthur’s hand in favor of cupping each side of his face. Leaning down, he closed the distance between his lips and Arthur’s. When their mouths met, despite the unfamiliarity, Arthur felt a wave of peace rush through him. Somewhere in the distance, he could hear carolling music as they fumbled through their first try, then their second, and so on. 

Their initial attempts were not perfect. They were far from it, actually. Such is life though, as Arthur had come to learn. It had not been an easy road to where he was in that moment, and he had no doubt that it would not be perfect in the aftermath of the beginning of their nascent relationship. All things considered though, as he relaxed into the arms of another that night, he felt like more pieces of the puzzle that made up his life, were connecting at last.

 


End file.
